I'm much more comfortable writing men than women. In fact, I hate writing women. I've pondered this for many years. I guess you'd have to ask my therapist for the real reason, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that women are just out there anyway. They're all about emotion. The display of emotion is a fairly natural thing for them because it's part of their direct process of change. Not that men don't do emotions, but logic is a more natural tool for them to use in the process of change. And change, as we all know, maketh drama.
I suspect I prefer writing men because their emotions have to overcome their logic to get noticed in the first place. The emotions have to creep, steal or filter out, so lyrics can creep, steal or filter out of dialogue. Sometimes there's a brief burst but it can only last for a maximum of three minutes, often including rise and sometimes fall too.
Maybe I find that more naturalistic. It's quite hard for me to make women sing. They don't really need the facility of song to display an emotion. When they do use music, it feels in some way manipulative. No, go with me on this one for a minute. A man is less likely than a woman to discuss his emotions with his workmates over lunch.
I mean, he might talk about her, but it would be in a more logical, active way: she hasn't called - what should I do? It's less likely to be the more female, emotional approach: he hasn't called - what does that mean?
It takes a little more intimacy - a few pints, or a very close friend - for a man to be given facility to get to 'what does that mean'. It's the same with song: like a few pints, music gives him facility to emote.
But a woman can more easily express an emotion in dialogue. She can already do 'what does that mean'. It's still true that the more intimacy she has, the more she can open up - a few pints, a close friend do make a difference for her - but in more complex ways. Not only can she do 'what does that mean' for him, but also 'what does that mean for me'.
So when a woman uses the facility of song, it doesn't just open her up, it adds another layer to that emotion. Since the way we choose to express anything (eg: gesture, vocal inflection, facial expression) says as much about what we're communicating as the actual words we use, I'm suggesting that a female character chooses to use song (just as we choose the way in which, and the extent to which we communicate about something) to add something else to the listener's experience of our story. To make ourselves seem more sympathetic, more jolly... to draw the listener in with a bit more definition. It's calculated.
When a man sings, there's just one floodgate to open - a little or a lot - and out come the emotions. When a woman sings, there are a series of smaller floodgates to control and direct the flow. Hence, she has more tools to use, and hence - she can manipulate the expression of the emotion to a greater degree.
At this point, I should admit to being a very bad writer. No, seriously. If I'm honest, I see all men as hunter/protectors and all women as bearer/nurturers. Plus I really see only the two emotions: being afraid and being hungry. Not even feeling those things, actually. Just being them. Being afraid of, and being hungry for. I'm probably the most guilty of discrimination against either gender, depending on which one you are. I'm all about sweeping generalisations.
And can I just add that I've never written a gay man... or any man who identifies heavily with a female approach, gay or straight. I suspect that you should include men-who-identify-more-with-women in my definition of 'female' in this. I'm aware the division I've made is not gender-accurate, but I'm also aware that there are yin people and yang people and I have to describe them somehow!
I don't quite know how I manage to write men, not being one. Maybe the distance I have helps me observe them, where writing women is too close for comfort. Maybe I take my experience of female emotions and plop them into men so I can study them without getting involved. Maybe I just want to explore the first emotional flow and avoid going too much deeper, so I choose men in order to have a more simple floodgate system.
Ask my therapist. He'll nod and ask you what it is about you that makes you want to ask that question...
